MLwN Day 2 - Considering Gratitude

Henry still has a fever today and so I am taking a PTO Friday. We're going to spend some quality time, healing and thinking postively. One thing I know for certain...I am POSITIVELY in love with being a mom! Henry is just such a wonderful little soul to be around.

Part of living MLwN is spending time focusing on those things for which I am grateful. I used to do a practice every morning of writing down 5 things I was grateful for in my life. As the saying goes, "That which you put light on, grows..." So, in the spirit of "sowing gratitude," here are today's Top Five:

• Henry's smile, despite his fever
• Shannon's enduring love and friendship as my partner
• The opportunity to see Lara & Melissa & Julie & Andrea this weekend
• The many beautiful green trees which surround our home
• The efforts of so many people around the world toward good

Ahhhh, feels good.

Considering MLwN

Life is just so perfect! I just finished waxing on about my anxieities about leaving the family for my upcoming 5-day trip and about scoring low on the "optimism" factor on the BarOn EQ-i profile...worry-wart and optimist are mutally exclusive it seems...

And just when I got to the part about going on a "negativity fast..." my web browser died and I lost the entire ramble. But in the spirit of the great Thonka painters -- it is gone with no worries. Because as I said (though you cannot read because it no longer exists), I am documeting MLwN (My Life without Negativity), just as my eco-social-conscious friend Cass is documenting MLwC (My Life with Car).

I start with a question I read today..."Is it better to be 'right' or in relationship?" This fascinates me because I am noticing more and more how my righteousness breeds negativity. Not that I perceive myself as some sonofabitch...but there are those incidents each day in which I choose to say hello to someone or not, choose to complain about a co-worker or not, worry that Henry's fever will turn into some full-blown infection or not...in each instance, my brain "thinks" it is right in making whatever decision I make, regardless of its logic. Yet, too often, this takes me out of relationship, either with a person or with the present moment.

I asked Cass the other night to consider "how to let others just be right...even when they are not..." I asked because it takes so much effort at times to counter others' thoughts, opinions, realities with my own. Often when I choose to, I find my brain pulling up all sorts of unrelated evidence as to why this person speaking is not right...and why I am. I question whether this is my ego's real work, or whether if left be, if the other can just be right, I might enjoy more time and freedom to think more interesting thoughts of my own, or heck, to workout!

Day One of MLwN -- already there is space to update the blog...look at that!

"I LOVE MY BATHTIME!" -- Henry

Friends from the Start!

Henry has a new girl in his life...Gigi! She is a wonderful friend with whom Henry is in daycare. At supper the other night, the two of them were literally running around the house chasing each other! It is so wonderful to watch their interactions and agility!

Avocado Considerations

Have you ever considered how much one child can love an avocado???

Considering Bobby

We watched the film Bobby last night http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0308055/. It is a wonderful exploration of the interplay between the people present at the Ambassador Hotel on the night of Robert Kennedy's assasination in 1968. The cast is spectacular; and while I knew the ending before the film even began, it still brought me to tears. The death of the vision and possibility that Bobby Kennedy stood for was a painful loss to our country indeed.

From one of his speeches:

For we as a people, we as a people, are strong enough, we are brave enough to be told the truth of where we stand. This country needs honesty and candor in its political life and from the President of the United States. But I don't want to run for the presidency - I don't want America to make the critical choice of direction and leadership this year without confronting that truth. I don't want to win support of votes by hiding the American condition in false hopes or illusions. I want us to find out the promise of the future, what we can accomplish here in the United States, what this country does stand for and what is expected of us in the years ahead. And I also want us to know and examine where we've gone wrong. And I want all of us, young and old, to have a chance to build a better country and change the direction of the United States of America.

and continues...

And this is one of the great tasks of leadership for us, as individuals and citizens this year. But even if we act to erase material poverty, there is another greater task, it is to confront the poverty of satisfaction - purpose and dignity - that afflicts us all. Too much and for too long, we seemed to have surrendered personal excellence and community values in the mere accumulation of material things. Our Gross National Product, now, is over $800 billion dollars a year, but that Gross National Product - if we judge the United States of America by that - that Gross National Product counts air pollution and cigarette advertising, and ambulances to clear our highways of carnage. It counts special locks for our doors and the jails for the people who break them. It counts the destruction of the redwood and the loss of our natural wonder in chaotic sprawl. It counts napalm and counts nuclear warheads and armored cars for the police to fight the riots in our cities. It counts Whitman's rifle and Speck's knife. And the television programs which glorify violence in order to sell toys to our children. Yet the gross national product does not allow for the health of our children, the quality of their education or the joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the strength of our marriages, the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country, it measures everything in short, except that which makes life worthwhile. And it can tell us everything about America except why we are proud that we are Americans.

If only GW had the same convictions...

Many lessons for us all.

Considering Change

Over the past few weeks, we have undertaken a remodel in the house -- new bamboo floors installed and a few new stainless steel appliances. A downstairs without nasty carpet is an unparalled pleasure...and when we get our second wind, we will replace the upstairs nastiness as well.

Change feels good.

Taking a Moment

Taking a moment in the day to focus on the important things...

Henry Update

New Adventures:
A ferry ride to Lopez Island
Sleeping in the yurt
Highway 20 over Washington Pass
Wet fun in Lake Pend Orielle
Crawling on Bamboo Floors
His amazing cousin Maggie Rose
New friends in Travis & Jori

New Foods:
Avocado

Lasagna
Corn Tortillas
Linguine at the Bay Café
Strawberry sorbet
Sharp cheddar cheese
Asparagus from the grill
Swiss chard
Freeze-dried apples, berries and banana

New Words:
“Uh-oh” when he drops things
“Ba-by” when prompted
A whole lotta other jabbering we cannot yet understand

New Actions:
Cup clap, shoe clap, anything clap
High Five – only to Shannon
Walking with only one adult hand support

Dropping everything and expecting us to pick it up

Enthralled with "Peek-a-bo", especially the "bo" part!

Driving...well sort of...

Dog Days in Sandpoint

If the kid takes his paws to me
one more time
I may turn on him,
Though not in my nature
Enough is enough

First to endure incessant
Nail gun vibrations from the men
Downstairs installing wood floors
On which I slip every which way
(Have they no respect for the three-leggers?)

But then the heat, closing on 100
The flowers freshly planted this morning
already sun stroked
and she with curls unfettered now
crimson across the shoulders

I eye the rope they’ve set up for me on the porch
Think I’m stupid?
I take to shade under the workmens' truck
Just try to leave me here alone again

Wasps steadily building nests under
Each eve of the house
The buzz around my ears
As constant as the hum of the generators
When will this project be finished?

If only the two of them would
Return to the days of old
We’d be driving down the winding road
Headed for the open space in the trees
Through which I would run and leap
Into cool lake waters, swim toward birds
Always just one winged stroke
Out of my reach

If only they remembered
That I am the first born son
Once apple of their eyes
Hiking companion on the mountain
Cozy bedmate on long winter nights

But he’s here now
And their attentions stray
Every day’s a sing song of
Hoo-da-hoo’s and I Love You’s
Can’t say I blame him for
Taking it all for himself
The love they give is perfumed breeze
In the springtime, chocolate melting on the tongue,
Raspberry sorbet floated on champagne.

I’m willing to let change be
Willing to take one for the team
Just keep his grasping hands outta my fur
High-pitched squeals outta my ears
Make sure you don’t leave me
Sitting here all day alone, ‘cuz
Idle hands are the devil’s playground
Enough really is enough.

How I Love Our Family