Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Lopez Adventuring
Fabulous summer adventure to Lopez Island - just what was needed as a family getaway. We spent every day at some beach, eating some delicious bakery treat, having woken up in the gentle energies of the yurt. What a delight.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
A Friendship Question
Today's considerations...the dynamics of friendship between those who have children and those who are child-free. I have experienced some sensitivities of late feeling like a vast part of who I am today is either invisible to my child-free friends or consciously omitted by me as I relate to them. This omission stems from my concern that I will be perceived as "all-mom" and not "Diana," the once interesting, inquisitive individual who had the mental capacity to think beyond potty training and daycare woes and the physical capacity to stay up past 8:30pm...
And then there is my own envy -- that green-eyed monster that arises when I listen to the stories of world travels, romantic evenings and art shows...the yearning I have at times to run away from this parenting responsibility and enjoy the freedoms my child-free friends have...
Whether it is my friends for whom kids are not really their thing or my own feelings of identity inadequacy, the challenges are real...AND I am hoping they are surmountable.
One friend sent me some links she had found on the subject:
http://www.workitmom.com/bloggers/parentingwithoutamanual/?p=187
http://www.life123.com/relationships/friendship/maintaining-friendships/how-friendship-changes-after-children.shtml
Interesting of course how I had believed this was my issue alone...that I would be the only one who might suffer this relational catastrophe...oy vey
So then...how to overcome this "great divide?"
The first answer seems to be to take it in stride --"optimize reality" as I like to say. To find the spaces where my child-free friends can enjoy interacting with our kids without subjecting them to "kid overload" or even holding them hostage in their own home...(OK, so we recently spent 3 whole days/nights in the home of our dear child-free friends...)
Second is the realization that the challenges we face today raising a 2 & 4 year old will shift over time. That in time, there will be less diaper conversations, as diapers will be a thing of the past. That once regular sleep returns, I may be able to discuss the books I am reading or the recent art film I have seen...in fact I may even have completed my certification program in Somatic Coaching...So, time...patience...
Then, compassion. I realize I have gone from one who has been validated throughout my life by external achievement to now relying on more subtle measures of success (and are they even mine?) like how creative our children are or how connected they feel to a stable home environment... How to learn to be compassionate in my own valuation of myself for the acts of care and development and nurturing of our children, despite a lack of time left for pursuit of other more tangible goals...
Next gratitude. How grateful I am to even be considering this dilemma -- to have the loving friends worthy of exploring it with and the most beautiful children in the world whom I love so dearly. Would that jealousy and internal conflicts would give way to openness of heart and wonder of the amazement that surrounds us all.
And lastly, acceptance of change itself -- that friendships themselves will change over time. That experience and context will shift. I love the question at the forefront of it all: What does "friendship" mean as an adult? What is at the foundation of these connections that transcends all of the externals?
So, I am interested in hearing from others about this experience -- both from those with kids and those without. How can we create a mutually-satisfying experience on both sides? How can we serve to support and care for ourselves, each other and our friendships despite (nay, in celebration of) the individual choices we all have made...
And then there is my own envy -- that green-eyed monster that arises when I listen to the stories of world travels, romantic evenings and art shows...the yearning I have at times to run away from this parenting responsibility and enjoy the freedoms my child-free friends have...
Whether it is my friends for whom kids are not really their thing or my own feelings of identity inadequacy, the challenges are real...AND I am hoping they are surmountable.
One friend sent me some links she had found on the subject:
http://www.workitmom.com/bloggers/parentingwithoutamanual/?p=187
http://www.life123.com/relationships/friendship/maintaining-friendships/how-friendship-changes-after-children.shtml
Interesting of course how I had believed this was my issue alone...that I would be the only one who might suffer this relational catastrophe...oy vey
So then...how to overcome this "great divide?"
The first answer seems to be to take it in stride --"optimize reality" as I like to say. To find the spaces where my child-free friends can enjoy interacting with our kids without subjecting them to "kid overload" or even holding them hostage in their own home...(OK, so we recently spent 3 whole days/nights in the home of our dear child-free friends...)
Second is the realization that the challenges we face today raising a 2 & 4 year old will shift over time. That in time, there will be less diaper conversations, as diapers will be a thing of the past. That once regular sleep returns, I may be able to discuss the books I am reading or the recent art film I have seen...in fact I may even have completed my certification program in Somatic Coaching...So, time...patience...
Then, compassion. I realize I have gone from one who has been validated throughout my life by external achievement to now relying on more subtle measures of success (and are they even mine?) like how creative our children are or how connected they feel to a stable home environment... How to learn to be compassionate in my own valuation of myself for the acts of care and development and nurturing of our children, despite a lack of time left for pursuit of other more tangible goals...
Next gratitude. How grateful I am to even be considering this dilemma -- to have the loving friends worthy of exploring it with and the most beautiful children in the world whom I love so dearly. Would that jealousy and internal conflicts would give way to openness of heart and wonder of the amazement that surrounds us all.
And lastly, acceptance of change itself -- that friendships themselves will change over time. That experience and context will shift. I love the question at the forefront of it all: What does "friendship" mean as an adult? What is at the foundation of these connections that transcends all of the externals?
So, I am interested in hearing from others about this experience -- both from those with kids and those without. How can we create a mutually-satisfying experience on both sides? How can we serve to support and care for ourselves, each other and our friendships despite (nay, in celebration of) the individual choices we all have made...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Horsin' Around
Great fun at Henry and Hope's riding lesson on Saturday. Cowboy Chris went all-out to ensure both kids had a blast! They practiced barrel racing, capturing flags and Henry even held a steady trot (while giggling heartily the whole time!)
My only concern...will our daughter really want a pony???
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Finally...
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2010/06/07/kids-with-lesbian-parents-do-just-fine.html
And more...
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-06-21/growing-up-with-lesbian-moms-by-ry-russo-young/
Henry: "Mom, I like stay-at-home days better than school days."
Diana: "How come?"
Henry: "Because we get to cuddle more."
Diana: "Why do you like cuddling?"
Henry: "Because it makes me feel connected to you."
Diana: "Yeah, me too."
It doesn't get better than this!
And more...
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-06-21/growing-up-with-lesbian-moms-by-ry-russo-young/
Henry: "Mom, I like stay-at-home days better than school days."
Diana: "How come?"
Henry: "Because we get to cuddle more."
Diana: "Why do you like cuddling?"
Henry: "Because it makes me feel connected to you."
Diana: "Yeah, me too."
It doesn't get better than this!
Friday, June 18, 2010
The Faces of Joy (and Hope...)
I get so exhausted these days as full time working mom...trying to ensure everyone's needs are met. At times, I want to run off in the middle of the night to some fancy retreat center, change my name and luxuriate for a few weeks...but oh how I would miss these little faces!!!!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
A Workin' Man
Henry and "Uncle" Jeff getting some things done around the house...
Check out the new gravel pit!!!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Twomommarama!
What an amazing camping adventure -- many two momma families and our kids all enjoying the amazing beauty of Icicle Creek Canyon! With hope, it will become an annual tradition!
Our Own BC Fan Club
Brandi Carlile is coming to the Sandpoint Festival this summer and we are getting psyched! In her honor, here are Henry, Hope and Gigi dancing to their favorite: Dreams!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_xVyFB4vBA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_xVyFB4vBA
Monday, May 10, 2010
True Fans!
Brandi is indeed coming to the Festival at Sandpoint, August 6th!
Get your tickets!!!
http://www.brandicarlile.com/
"Dreams, I have dreams when I'm awake when I'm asleep And you, you are in my Dreams You're underneath my skin, how am I so weak And now in my dreams, I can feel the weight, I can just come clean I keep it to myself, I know what it means I can't have you, but I have dreams How long, can you hold your breath? Can you count to ten, can you let it pass? Keep, can you keep it in? Keep it behind lashes, can you make it last? And now in my dreams, I can feel the weight I can just come clean I keep it to myself, I know what it means I can't have you, but I have dreams Oh, I have dreams, I have dreams (And then an amazing guitar solo) Mind, can you read my mind? Has it come undone, am I showin' signs? And now, in my dreams I can feel the weight, I can just come clean I keep it to myself, I know what it means I can't have you, but I have dreams I have dreams, I have, I have, I have Dreams"
Get your tickets!!!
http://www.brandicarlile.com/
"Dreams, I have dreams when I'm awake when I'm asleep And you, you are in my Dreams You're underneath my skin, how am I so weak And now in my dreams, I can feel the weight, I can just come clean I keep it to myself, I know what it means I can't have you, but I have dreams How long, can you hold your breath? Can you count to ten, can you let it pass? Keep, can you keep it in? Keep it behind lashes, can you make it last? And now in my dreams, I can feel the weight I can just come clean I keep it to myself, I know what it means I can't have you, but I have dreams Oh, I have dreams, I have dreams (And then an amazing guitar solo) Mind, can you read my mind? Has it come undone, am I showin' signs? And now, in my dreams I can feel the weight, I can just come clean I keep it to myself, I know what it means I can't have you, but I have dreams I have dreams, I have, I have, I have Dreams"
Monday, May 03, 2010
Active Bunch
Diana and friends join the thousands in the 34th annual Bloomsday race. I crossed the finish at 1:04, which was much better than I expected -- Shannon was out with a pulled calf muscle -- hopefully she will be in full recovery shortly.
Hope in her element in the "pit," the nastiest and most enjoyable foam extravaganza on earth!
Our little pirate!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Spring is Upon Us
Early morning family smiles
30+ years of friendship -- thanks, Lesley!
Moms get hiking!
Sweet love
What's Your Sentence?
Today, my sentence reads...
"In her past, she learned to survive; and thereafter, to thrive with joy and optimism."
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Dear Friends
We have enjoyed such wonderful visits from friends this January -- starting with the ringing in of 2010 with Cass & Lynn, followed by a double-header of football and Brandi Carlisle with Tammy & Lisa and completing the trifecta with creative and connecting time with Lara & Melissa (photos above). How fortunate we are to have such amazing friends in our lives!
It is interesting, too, to have our family "witnessed" weekend over weekend. Everyone was so generous with our whole family, enjoying our chaos, our kids, our routines. I can only imagine we look like a whirlwind of action and activity relative to their more measured days...this to say nothing of their lives, but in reflection of our own...I feel like we lack quiet, calm and rest -- someday, perhaps, this too will be present.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
The Joys of Snow
Winter has arrived!!!! We had our first sledding adventure down the driveway -- and Henry & Hope have been great helpers on the shoveling front!
A Bit About Henry & Hope
We recently found a new babysitter for our kids -- she is a wonderful young woman, daughter of a friend. I sent her the following about H & H -- Shannon thought this was blog-worthy...
Here are a few things you may want to know about Henry and Hope:
1. Henry loves anything that is or can be used as a car/truck/ambulance/robot/sword/vehicle – he is less the “sit and do puzzles” kind of kid, though in the right mood, he can be convinced. He likes to dance, move, run around, wrestle and be tickled. He likes to have his hands on things and in things (water, cookie dough, paint).
2. Hope loves LOVE. She is a cuddle bug. She may be a little shy at first, but once she warms up, she likes to be close, sitting on laps, giving hugs, etc. Hope likes to play with anything that Henry is currently playing with – sometimes this will create a bit of turmoil…but Henry knows he has to share and it is also fine to tell Hope “No, that is Henry’s.”
3. Both kids may be a bit standoffish at first – they connect deeply with people, so new folks always require a time or two when the mommas are not around. Don’t take this personally! Toys, games, activity are great ways to “bring them in.”
4. No food allergies – both like to eat and both are hearty enough that if they choose not to eat, there are no worries.
5. Henry is now potty trained (thank goodness!) but Hope will still be in diapers (sorry.)
Both still take naps – they like warm milk pre-nap – we will bring sippy cups and things. If they refuse to sleep, no worries.
6. Both like to be read to, though Hope will wiggle around
7. We are fine with you setting appropriate boundaries and limits with both kids. They know what it means to share, be gentle and treat others with respect – if they are not doing these things, please tell them and put Henry in a “time out” if necessary. Usually this means taking the toy away or letting him be by himself for a few minutes to think about his negative behavior. We always make him apologize if he has hurt someone.
Here are a few things you may want to know about Henry and Hope:
1. Henry loves anything that is or can be used as a car/truck/ambulance/robot/sword/vehicle – he is less the “sit and do puzzles” kind of kid, though in the right mood, he can be convinced. He likes to dance, move, run around, wrestle and be tickled. He likes to have his hands on things and in things (water, cookie dough, paint).
2. Hope loves LOVE. She is a cuddle bug. She may be a little shy at first, but once she warms up, she likes to be close, sitting on laps, giving hugs, etc. Hope likes to play with anything that Henry is currently playing with – sometimes this will create a bit of turmoil…but Henry knows he has to share and it is also fine to tell Hope “No, that is Henry’s.”
3. Both kids may be a bit standoffish at first – they connect deeply with people, so new folks always require a time or two when the mommas are not around. Don’t take this personally! Toys, games, activity are great ways to “bring them in.”
4. No food allergies – both like to eat and both are hearty enough that if they choose not to eat, there are no worries.
5. Henry is now potty trained (thank goodness!) but Hope will still be in diapers (sorry.)
Both still take naps – they like warm milk pre-nap – we will bring sippy cups and things. If they refuse to sleep, no worries.
6. Both like to be read to, though Hope will wiggle around
7. We are fine with you setting appropriate boundaries and limits with both kids. They know what it means to share, be gentle and treat others with respect – if they are not doing these things, please tell them and put Henry in a “time out” if necessary. Usually this means taking the toy away or letting him be by himself for a few minutes to think about his negative behavior. We always make him apologize if he has hurt someone.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Holiday Note
Many happy blessings to all of our loved ones around the globe! Life is happy on our end -- the decent into darkness now past, we are moving into the light with pleasure! Lots of visitors to come in 2010 and Mexico in February. There is much for which to be grateful.
Current considerations: Keeping our jobs, keeping up with Henry and Hope, keeping the house a semblance of clean, keeping the vision of The Selkirk Group alive, keeping learning, keeping the love of marriage as front of mind as that of parenting, keeping connected on Facebook, keeping the heart open and the mind focused...
Monday, December 07, 2009
Celebrating the 80's Way
80's mayhem ensued in celebration of our friend Dave's 40th birthday. We rocked the house to "oldies," nostalgia taking firm hold of our hearts and hips -- so much fun to see people's alteregos emerge! Much hair and many gloves worn...ahhh, former fashion faux pas... This was certainly one of my more memorable moments in Sandpoint to date!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Fall Fun in Sandpoint
Turkeys, aka Sandpoint traffic!
An almost-snow walk along Lake Pend Oreille with the family. Henry was playing hide-n-seek in the leafless trees and Hope was sporting some pretty cool new gloves!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
