Thursday, July 10, 2008

Anticpation...Is Making Me Wait!

The paper/plastic bag pantry disaster is now well-organized, the turkey chili is cooling for placement in the freezer, the dead bugs have been extricated from the window sills and the photo album is updated...still no baby. A work colleague told me to eat ginger snaps, yet after starting my day with a large, anticipatory handful, the thought of eating one more has me a bit ill. I know this kiddo is calling the shots and already has me once again in student mode for the lessons of patience, receiving and letting go of control. Alas...

Awaiting labor is an interesting phenomenon. Shannon was talking about the build up to the IronMan the other day, all the preparation and excitement and nerves...but at least, she said, she knew when it was going to start -- and once she started, she knew she was in it to the end.

With labor, you get ready -- prep the room, prep the older sibling, make sure you have your phone tree in order, have Grandma on duty and sister on call...and then you wait...and wait. I had anticipated working up until the moment when things got started as I did with Henry, but realized that I had all this extra vacation time I needed to use. So, my last few days have been oddly free -- free for taking walks, reading books, writing...and I find I have trouble settling into non-structured time like this (sadly). So often I crave alone time with nothing planned -- and here it is, and I feel restless and wanting of something to do. I am sure if I could bank sleep, this would be a useful option; unfortunately, this seems neither plausible nor possible.

And so, I cook and putter and rub my belly. Believe me, I know that when this kid does come, these days of summertime slouch will be sorely missed!

1 comment:

jillbertini said...

I am sending you "welcome the new baby" vibes!