Thursday, June 28, 2007

Considering MLwN

Life is just so perfect! I just finished waxing on about my anxieities about leaving the family for my upcoming 5-day trip and about scoring low on the "optimism" factor on the BarOn EQ-i profile...worry-wart and optimist are mutally exclusive it seems...

And just when I got to the part about going on a "negativity fast..." my web browser died and I lost the entire ramble. But in the spirit of the great Thonka painters -- it is gone with no worries. Because as I said (though you cannot read because it no longer exists), I am documeting MLwN (My Life without Negativity), just as my eco-social-conscious friend Cass is documenting MLwC (My Life with Car).

I start with a question I read today..."Is it better to be 'right' or in relationship?" This fascinates me because I am noticing more and more how my righteousness breeds negativity. Not that I perceive myself as some sonofabitch...but there are those incidents each day in which I choose to say hello to someone or not, choose to complain about a co-worker or not, worry that Henry's fever will turn into some full-blown infection or each instance, my brain "thinks" it is right in making whatever decision I make, regardless of its logic. Yet, too often, this takes me out of relationship, either with a person or with the present moment.

I asked Cass the other night to consider "how to let others just be right...even when they are not..." I asked because it takes so much effort at times to counter others' thoughts, opinions, realities with my own. Often when I choose to, I find my brain pulling up all sorts of unrelated evidence as to why this person speaking is not right...and why I am. I question whether this is my ego's real work, or whether if left be, if the other can just be right, I might enjoy more time and freedom to think more interesting thoughts of my own, or heck, to workout!

Day One of MLwN -- already there is space to update the blog...look at that!

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